My parents had lived in their home for 56 years. How was I supposed to narrow my memories down to just a few sentimental items that would fit in a suitcase to take back home. As I looked throughout the cute rambler home that had been filled with years of family gatherings and special moments, it became clear that it would be impossible to gather all of that up with just a few possessions. My parents home was not big or decorated in current trends. It had family photos everywhere, some in frames and others just tacked up on several boards around the house. There was fruit wallpaper boarder around the kitchen, and so many drawings made by grandchildren and great-grandchildren taped to the refrigerator and cupboards of the kitchen. And on a small wall near the stairs leading to the basement, were at least a hundred pencil lines and dates representing the height at different ages of their 22 grandchildren and many other children who they welcomed into their home.
Of course I spent my childhood in the home, but my best memories were of seeing my mom and dad with their grandchildren, many who lived close and could visit often. Memories flooded to my mind of all the hours grandma (my mom) spent at the kitchen table playing games with her grandchildren or making yummy desserts with them or for them. Homemade bread, rolls, cookies, zucchini bread, scones with maple syrup to name a few. And her specialty, ice cream malts, made in her blender with her special ingredient of powdered milk that she served in special glass tulip sundae cups bought specifically for that reason. The piano in the living room represented all the hours of our piano practice, but in the later years, it represented family time where my dad and mom would sit and listen to grandchildren play or the many times that they sang along as someone played church hymns or Christmas carols. These were just a few memories of many. Even if I could take the kitchen table or piano with me to my home, there would be no way to replicate those memories.
My parents both passed away in 2020. I was able to fly into town for both funerals. After the second funeral in November, my siblings who lived in town met me at the house to make decisions about what we wanted to keep from the house. This would have been the only time I would be at the home, so I felt a lot of pressure to make the final decision for myself on what I wanted to take with me as sentimental items. Whatever was left after that day would end up being the responsibility of my siblings to finish the decision-making process of what to do with my parent’s possessions.
This was a stressful process. Each room we entered was full of items that triggered memories of our parents or memories from our own youth: books, crafting supplies, games, family photo books, dad’s ties that he wore everyday to work and every Sunday to church, our parent’s clothes, toys for the grandchildren, cooking items, tools in the garage, holiday decorations, gardening tools, blankets and sheets used for grandchildren sleepovers, etc. We were overwhelmed.
Luckily I had been more prepared than what I had thought. Prior to this time, I had watched several videos from “The Minimal Mom” on YouTube. We were in the process of putting our house up for sale in September of 2019 and I needed to “declutter”. I found “The Minimal Mom” videos and they were so helpful in helping me down-size. I felt grateful that I had watched these before my week at home for my dad’s funeral in November because they gave me a strategy for deciding what items I wanted to keep from the house. Between the pointers I learned in the video and the fact that I lived so far away (which prevented me from taking too many items, or heavy and bulky items), I was able to make decisions about possessions that I wanted to keep that I felt at peace with.
In the above video, The Minimal Mom gave two inspirational quotes: “I don’t want my house to become a time capsule to the past”, and in regards to a sentimental item from her grandma, she said, “keeping it in storage in the basement wasn’t honoring my grandma’s memory.” These two quotes went through my head as I made my decisions. If I were to take something from my parent’s home, it should be something that I was going to use and remember them by. Or it was going to be something that I knew they valued and I could either display it or put in a special box for easy access.
Based on this knowledge, I put a few items in my suitcase and shipped the rest of the items I thought were sentimental to me back to my home in a 16x16x16 box. Because my mom was constantly baking, I chose muffin tins, bread pans and a measuring cup. I chose a set of well-worn personal scriptures from each of my parents representing their love of Jesus Christ. I kept a few ties from my dad’s collection and a shirt from each of my parents. I chose a table cloth my mom used in my childhood, representing her love of gathering family. I chose a few games to represent my mom’s love of games as a way to spend time and to connect with her grandchildren. I was also given a box of letters and photos my children and I had sent to my parents over the years that my mom had kept. I kept a few other small things that I might post about later.
As I sit here typing this, almost 10 months later, I have not regretted any of my decisions. I have been happy with what I brought home as my sentimental items from my parent’s home, and I have not regretted leaving anything behind. I am honestly grateful for my parents and the time I had with them throughout the years. I am also grateful for having learned from The Minimal Mom her thoughts on sentimental items. It really did give me decision-making tools during that one emotional and overwhelming day at my parent’s home.